... On God Not Being A Bigger Version of Me.

photo courtesy of cnn.com

I know everyone is giving their two cents about 'Where is God?' in the midst of the Newtown, CT tragedy last week, so I thought I would join in because while there are many things that have come to the surface in light of this tragedy concerning faith, religion, gun rights, freedoms, etc. there is one thing that I would like to address.

I want to address those who are making claims that a good God couldn't possibly allow this to happen, and therefore there either is no God or He is not good.

It is a natural, and I won't even say 'wrong,' to question what God is doing when things like this happen.  The Psalms are full of people crying out to God in distress and wondering where He is in the midst of oppression, violence and dispair.  I would say that if you're not wondering where God is in this sort of tragedy you are probably a robot or some sort of heartless, inanimate statue.

But what it shouldn't do is cause me to take the extremely arrogant leap of saying just because I don't understand or see what's going on completely that I am capable of drawing definitive conclusions about the nature of God, good and evil and justice.  When people, including me, assess what's going on in the world, as well as their own lives, and count simply upon our own reason (or even the collective reasons of small, finite minds) we are guilty of the very same sin that humans have been guilty of since the beginning of man - claiming personal authority and superiority over God.  When I place my own emotions, reasoning or intellect as the highest and most superior authority I am saying either that (1) God is absent in this tragedy or that (2) He is simply not good enough or powerful enough to have prevented it. I am saying that if I were God I would have done things differently.

I am claiming moral superiority over the God who made all things.  I am claiming to be smarter than God.  I am claiming God isn't trustworthy.  It's the same sin in the garden in a different package.

So while I might not know exactly why God let this happen, I shouldn't run to the illogical and arrogant conclusion that I have complete understanding of all mysteries and workings of the universe and can come to definitive conclusions about the nature of divine involvement in an issue.

Instead, I should let God speak into how we might cope with this (and other) tragedies.

God is not a Bigger Version of a Me
God's thinking, reasoning, working, moving is on a different level than ours.  How different?...

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts."  Isaiah 55:9

Just because I wouldn't do something (or allow something to be done) doesn't mean I've got it all figured out.

God is not Absent
We are about to celebrate one of the most comforting realities in all of history - the birth of God into our world.  It means that God is not absent or distant from our pain.  In fact, it's just the opposite.  God came into our pain.  He knows heartache.  He knows loss.  He knows our struggles.  He is not absent from the brokenhearted.

"'She will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.'  All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:
'Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
and they call his name Immanuel" (which means, God with us).  Matthew 1:21-23

"The LORD is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." Psalm 34:18

God wasn't absent that day.  And althought I don't fully understand why He let what happened happen, I do know that the fact that God took on flesh let's me know for sure that He is not distant from the pain.

God is not Unloving
There are no simple answers to why the tragedy in Newtown happened.  And although we don't know exactly why it did happen we do know one thing - it isn't because God is unloving.

"But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  Since, therefore, we have been justified by his blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God."  Romans 5:8-19

I don't know why God let this happen.  But when I look at the cross - God leaving the glory of heaven to take on flesh and then to go to be executed and take upon himself God's holy justice against sin on our behalf - I see a love that is beyond anything in this world.  That Jesus took our cross means that God is infinitely more loving than I can comprehend.  So when I look at Newtown and I question God's love I must look at the cross to be completely assured of it.


So, in all the legitimate questions, legitimate pain and crying out I must not let my arrogance lead me to false conclusions.  God never promises me that I will understand everything He does or allows to be done, but He does promise us that there is hope and a future for those who put their trust in Him.

Let's trust in someone who formed Life by the power of His wisdom (Prov. 3:19) and not the wisdom of those that can't even collectively agree on the definition of 'life.'

... On Hearing Your Name.

Hearing Your Name
There you stand.

Shoulder to shoulder in a line against the brick wall as they pace in front of you, eyeing you up and down to try and appraise your worth before all the other sitting ducks to your right and left.  One word, just your name called, and it would all be over.  You would know your place.  You would know your worth.  Better not make eye contact with anyone.  Not with your selectors lest they may sense your insecurity and see how desperate you are inside to be chosen.  Not with your fellow prisoners as compassion may cost you your place in this microcosm of society.  You don't need to be called first, just don't be called last.  Everything hinged in one word, one name: yours.  And with eyes closed and squinted you listen...

This world, this Thunderdome, called... the sixth grade recess football draft.

Many a young man's worth was dictated by two 'captains,' two young men elected by their peers based on a social algorithm consisting mainly of how tall you were and how many pencil-thin hairs could be found gracing your upper lip.  Signs of burgeoning manhood equals power and authority on the recess football field.  These two would determine each boys worth.

Ok, maybe it wasn't that intense.  Maybe I'm being a little over dramatic.  But to a young sixth grade boy, few things meant more than finding acceptance within the pack.  And for us, that meant hearing your name called early in the daily draft of the pint-sized pigskin players.

Not Just Recess
Perhaps it wasn't outside at recess for you.  Maybe it was the lunch table.  Maybe it was in the bandhall or choir room or homeroom.  Maybe it was in your own living room, or maybe somewhere else entirely.  But somewhere in your world there was, and still is, a place you stood hoping that someone would notice you there and call out your name.

Today it could be the conference room or the Evite list, in the college acceptance letter, around the dinner table or in the number of your twitter followers. It could be from a group of people, or maybe just that one person you hope will let you know that you are noticed, you matter, that you exist and that it means something to someone.

"Just call out my name."

Just like being lined up against that brick wall, there are times in life when all you want is to hear your name called.

Just one word.  And, we hope, that would make everything a shade better.

It's in all of us in some way or the other.  We want to belong.

The truth is: It matters to us whether or not we matter to anyone else.

The Spectrum of Influence
So we find ourselves at some point along the cosmic spectrum of influence, a range of behaviors that are all rooted in our deep-seeded desire to mean something to someone.

The spectrum ranges from the paralysis of depression to the exhaustion of performance.  It goes from the depths of hopelessness in which somehow we are convinced that we either don't have anything to offer or that the one(s) we hope to impress are disinterested -  all the way to the obsessive nature many of us have to work with all our white-knuckled strength to prove our worth to someone, anyone.  On one end we can sink deep in the darkness of irrelevance, and on the other we can be excessively driven by the insecurity of never knowing where we stand so we push harder and harder to matter to people...

Matter to them...

Matter to him... or her.

All so that someone will call out one word.  Our name.

And the desperate need to hear that word can even drive us to do evil things just to hear it.  Just to feel what it's like to actually matter in some way.  That's how deep and twisted and rooted the need to matter is within us all.

And it can and will absolutely consume us.  It has the power to cause us to spiral out of control in a tailspin of depression, confusion, and pain.  Or it can cause us to sell our very lives to causes and passions we think will ultimately deliver us the satisfaction that we so desperately crave.

Who for You?
Can you remember a time in the past that you wanted so badly to hear your name called?

What are those times in your life right now?  Who or what are the ones that your life is position to impress?  Who is it that deep down you believe you need to be acknowledged by?

Friends?  Parents?  A relationship or spouse?  The Facebook or Twitter world?  A professor or employer?

Who is it that you want to call your name?
To think about you?
To tell you that you matter?
To prove to you your life counts?

The Only Voice that Matters
That is one of the inescapable beauties of the mystery of the cross of Jesus.

Not that the cross was primarily about us.
It was, and is, about Jesus bringing glory and honor to His Father.
But we are there in the story.
We are there because we matter.
We are there because we are loved.

Think on this statement:
The cross happened.

Think about that.
Jesus, God's Son, took the weight of the sin of the world on his body, soul and spirit.
It happened.
It happened because there was no other way (Matt. 26:39).

No other way for what?

God to have more glory?
Nope.
His glory is displayed, but never heightened or lessoned. (Ps. 96:3, Isaiah 40:5)
Regardless of the cross, God is God and worthy of all glory.

God to be good?
Nope.
His goodness, like his glory, never fluctuates.  (Ps. 25:7, Is. 63:7, Ps. 96:13)
Regardless of the event of the cross God would be forever and always good.
The same is true for the attributes of being holy, loving, faithful, pure, right, etc. (1 John 4:8)

Nope.  None of those.

No Other Way
Then no other way for what?

For you to be able to enjoy the greatest joy possible - belonging to God.
Being in the presence of pure goodness with no hindrance.
Seeing God for who he is and being wrapped up and lost in Him.
Hearing him call your name and responding with a resounding, "Here I am!" (Gen. 22:1, Ex. 3:4, 1 Sam. 3:4, Is. 6:8)  

Without the cross you wouldn't want Him. (Rom. 3:10-12)
The curse of sin and all it's effects, including a heart devoid of affection for your Father and Creator, was destroyed by the power of Jesus' substitution and full sacrificial payment in your place. (2 Cor. 5:21)
Justice and mercy intertwined and on display at the cross.

Now, not only is your name called by the only One who truly matters, but in Jesus and because of the cross you have a heart that wants to hear it. (2 Tim. 1:8-10)

Much more than a hairy sixth-grader, a parent or lover, but the very one who called you into existence is calling you into worth!

Truly Hearing Your Name for the First Time
You are worth it.
And the cross shows you just how much you are worth to God.
Worth leaving Heaven.
Worth wrapping His deity in humanity.
Worth the frailty of a body.
Worth rejection and humiliation.
Worth false accusations and unjust condemnation from people.
Worth torture at the hands of his people.
Worth being forsaken by His Father.
Worth death.
Worth taking Hell upon Himself.

Worth the greatest love the world has ever seen.
Worth taking on your sin and giving you His perfection.
Worth taking on your rejection and giving you His acceptance.

You are worth it, not because of what you are or what you've done, but simply because you are valuable to God - valuable enough for a rescue mission to bring you home.

The Name Above All Names (Phil.2:9, Eph. 1:21-22) is calling out your name through the cross.

And wants to give you a new life through His resurrection.

Jesus sees your poor little weak and defenseless self,  and with all your posturing and puffing yourself up aside He calls your name.
Hear it.
Hear him say it.
More sweet than a football game or afterwork party.
More meaningful than an engagement or wedding vow - the powerfully tender voice of God calling you and saying...

... you're accepted.  In Jesus you are accepted.

Let us quit lining up against the brick wall.

Let us run to the cross.

... on Not Being Jesus.

There is something magical that happens when a beach towel gets tied around your shoulders.

Almost every guy I know has pretended to be a super-hero at some point in their childhood.  Some still pretend to be even in their adulthood, but that's another blog for another time.  As a kid I can remember taking our bathroom towels, beach towels, sheets or whatever and tying it around my neck, letting it flap behind me as I ran through the house, fists extended, simulating flying through the skyscrapers of a major city. Imaginary damsels were rescued and phantom evil doers were no match for a 6-year-old with a ratty beach towel and an imagination.

I would bet that at some point everyone of us has dreamt of being the hero or the heroine, the superhero or the princess.  There's a part of us that longs to fulfill the role of not only doing something good in the world, but having the applause of a grateful audience as well.

And it doesn't stop as we age.  We do it all the time.  Subconsciously or intentionally.  When we watch movies or sports, reality television or read books or stories we often want to live vicariously through the hero of the moment.  I wish I was Superman.  I wish I was the American Idol.  I wish I was the beautiful Bachelorette.  I wish I was the one catching the winning touchdown.

I want to be the hero.  I want to be the beautiful one.

When I started working at Starbuck's a little over a year ago, I put on my invisible beach-towel cape and determined to be the best, kindest, most hard-working barista in the store.  I kept a good attitude, always did what I was asked and genuinely asked about the lives of the other baristas.  I thought that if I could only let the heart of Jesus shine through my life then I hoped that would win my new friends and fellow latte-makers over.  I would be Superman and hope they would be impressed.

The only problem was I couldn't keep it up.

I did for a few months. But then I begin to slip.
Eventually I said something I shouldn't have said.  Eventually I took a shortcut in my work chores.  Eventually I got frustrated and vented out-loud.
Eventually I didn't live up to the expectation of myself I had placed on my life.

Turns out Superman's cape was, in fact, only a towel.

That was when the Lord convicted me of something simple yet profound - at least for me.

I am not Jesus Christ.

I know, mind blowing.  But what it meant to me was that the best way to reach the people around me for Jesus wasn't by trying to be Him by myself, but to be exactly what He has made me.  I shouldn't try to be the savior they need, but should live as though I know the Savior who is.  The truth was I thought I was living a life of holiness that would lead people to Jesus, but in reality I was trying to impress people with myself and trying to win them over to me.

Let me repeat that.  Instead of connecting people to Jesus, I was trying to sell them on my life.

So rather then trying to live flawlessly before people at work and impress them into the Kingdom, maybe something better would have been to have simply worked well and cared for people, but be quick to acknowledge the grace that Jesus has given my life.  Perhaps instead of trying to impress them by my amazing behavior I should have focused on letting the amazing grace in my life speak for itself.  Maybe instead of trying to be the hero at the coffee shop I should have been more focused on letting Jesus be the hero of that store.

If I had it to do over again I would ask God to make me a barista of grace rather than a barista of excellence.  I would ask God to help me show Jesus as the hero.
And I would leave my cape at home.
And I would believe that "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in your weakness." (2 Cor. 12:9).

There is something magical that happens when you realize life is better when you untie the towel from your shoulders.

... on Our Connected Lives.

Independently Connected
I would classify myself as a fairly independent person.  Over the course of my adult life I have lived by myself on more than one occasion.  I didn't get married until I was 29.  Some of my most refreshing and relaxing times happen when people are the furthest away from me.

We live in a society that promotes independence, in fact it's one of our founding documents.  And a certain amount of that is good.  When independence goes bad is when the lines between personal freedom and social accountability get blurry.  When my personal liberty to do whatever I want to do bumps up against the lives of other people, I quickly see that I don't live in a personal vacuum.

The correlation between actions and consequences is no new thing.  It's not hard to convince people that the world is run in large part by that law.  All actions have consequences, good or bad.  In general, if I eat right and exercise I'll have a healthier and better quality of life than if I eat poorly and become out of shape.  There are always exceptions to the rules, but there is a reason they are rules - they prove true the vast majority of time.

However, personal actions don't just have personal consequences.  In the diet and exercise example, one's health dramatically impacts those around them.  When healthier, a person is generally more energetic, happier, better suited to be active in engaging with the people around them.  They have more energy to connect with their spouse or other relationships, they have more energy to play with their kids or help their neighbor on a project.  Their body generally feels better and so they're often in a better mood when connecting with the people around them.  They also probably sleep better and are therefore better rested and can perform at their job more efficiently and effectively and that promotes a common good with the people and company they work for.  It's not hard to see that positive personal decisions don't merely have an effect on a individual alone but have a great impact on the people around them.

Conversely, poor health also has an effect on more than just the individual.  If they are feeling sluggish and slow they might not have the energy to connect with their family as they should.  They might sleep poorly and be grumpier and less capable of being a productive and valued member at work.  They might be spending money on medicine that could be used to the benefit of someone else in need, and so forth.  Just like in positive ways, negative personal choices also deeply impact the people around us.

Our lives are connected to everyone around us.

Our decisions are connected to everyone around us.

But it's not just public actions.  It's also when we think no one is looking, or no one will be affected by this decision.  It's true that there is no truly private, inconsequential choice in my life.  My private choices, just as much as my public choices, form who I am - and who I am has a direct impact on the lives of those around me.

God tells us this is so.

Real Talk

Solomon, one of the wisest people to have ever lived, once wrote, "The end of the matter; all has been heard.  Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man.  For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil." (Eccl. 12:13-14)  God revealed to Solomon that there is no such thing as secret choices or behaviors.  Everything every person does, in their own mind or on a Jumbotron, has been seen by God and we will be accountable to it.

Then there's the sin of Achan (Josh. 7:11).  After being instructed by God not to loot the items from the newly defeated city of Jericho, Achan stole things anyway.  He hid them in his tent thinking he got away with it, but God knew he was lying.  And God's sense of justice and holiness was greater than Achan's (and ours) and so Achan's sin cost the lives of many Israelites.  Our private sins aren't just private sins - they have direct consequences to the lives of those around us.

Jesus also tells us that God sees not only our secret sins but our secret obedience (Matt. 6:3-4,6).  Even our private worship lives are shown publicly before the audience of God in heaven.  Our faithful private choices positively have an effect those around us.

The bottom line is this: our whole lives - both the public and private parts - are connected to the world around us.  That means when we choose to be selfish, arrogant, lustful, deceptive, cheap, whiney, discontent or any other self-centered behavior when we are all alone, it has just as much impact on who we are as a person and how we relate to the people around us as if we did it on Youtube.  And when we choose the way of integrity, honor, faithfulness, obedience, sacrifice it not only has an effect us individually, but it is directly connected to the people around us.

If you want to see a real video about how our personal choices effect the world around us, watch this.  Warning: it's pretty heavy.

... on His will for my life.

A Dream Within a Dream

One of my favorite movies recently released is Christopher Nolan's Inception.  For those who haven't seen it, or for the majority of us that did see but still don't understand it, it is the classic tale of a group of rebels who must come together to overcome a big obstacle.  What sets this tale apart from others is the setting - dreams.  Or more specifically, dreams within dreams (within dreams).  Suspense is built throughout the story as the characters dive deeper and deeper within dreams to multiple levels of dreaming, all the while having to quickly and precisely accomplish tasks that must sync within the different levels of dreams in order for the overall goal to be accomplished.  Confused, yet?

What builds the edge-of-your-seat excitement is that for the goal to be accomplished there are multiple elements at play simultaneously and each step in the mission requires pin-point timing and laser-like precision to pull it off.  If one mistake happens, one hesitation or bad decision made, the entire mission is compromised  and ends up falling apart and failing.  Precision in execution is critical to fulfilling the mission, and one wrong step spells wasted effort, wasted time and irreversible consequences.

Is God's Will for My Life Like Inception?
Sometimes I think that my life with God is a lot like Inception.  I worry that if I don't execute the plan exactly and act precisely as I'm supposed, I might sabotage the plan and mission God had intended for me.  And so I end of being paralyzed with fear, not wanting to make the wrong decision and send my life on a wrong trajectory ending up in a discontent life of less impact for God and His Kingdom.

The underlying question is, "God, what is Your will for my life?".

I cannot tell you how many times I have had conversations with friends, college students, high school kids, young adults and even retired people who ask the same question.  And while it is a great question to ask, I think it is also a dangerous question to ask if it comes packed with certain certain underlying assumptions.

Some of the dangerous assumptions are:
1)  It is normal and expected that Christians hear from God specific directions on all of life's choices, especially the 'big ones,' and if you don't then something's wrong.
2)  I shouldn't act unless I know 100%, without a doubt, megaphone from Heaven, written on the sky, spoke to me in a dream, that this is the decision God wants from me.
3)  I am the main character of my life's story.
4)  A life that gets noticed by other people is one of importance.
5)  God's will is always something I'll be excited about.
6)  God's will is always something I'll hate.

There are more assumptions, but these are some ones I deal with regularly.  And it's easy for me to see
And what disguises itself as a humble request for answers can  quickly and easily become a narcassictic, self-focused way of not having to walk with God in humble faith day by day through life.

This line of thinking puts me as the protagonist in my life's story instead of Jesus.
This line of thinking puts the world's definition of importance and success above Jesus' Kingdom definition.
This line of thinking isn't seeking to have more faith, but actually less, as I don't want to have to trust God moment-by-moment and instead want to live in the security of my own comfort and understanding.

So, What IS God's Will for My Life?
It is God's will for me...

     ... to think deeply about how I am spending my life.

          Psalm 90:12, Eph. 5:15-17

     ... to remember that the story isn't primarily about what God does through my life but about what God has done for us through Jesus' life.
          Gal. 2:20, Phil. 2:9-11

     ... to be sexually pure.
          1 Thess. 4:3

     ... to be thankful.
          1 Thess. 5:18

     ... to do good.
          1 Pet. 2:15

Helpful Reminders When Seeking God's Will
Few people in Scripture are told explicitly what God's specific plan for their life was.  Remember when Peter wanted to know about God's plan for John's life? (John 21:20-23)  Jesus response to Peter was simple - "Follow me."  Step by step.  Perhaps it is best summed up in the Sermon on the Mount when Jesus tells his listeners who are worried about what the future holds, Jesus tells them to quit worrying and seek God's righteousness and the nearness to Him that comes from living in His Kingdom (Matt. 6:33)

And that's what it comes down to.  Yes - seek God's will for your life.  But remember how much He's already told you about how He wants you to live.  Do that.  Seek holiness.  Seek to deal with sin seriously.  Be thankful.  Do good to others.  And trust that when you seek Him in the everyday that He will show you exactly all you need to know about the next days.



Addendum
It is important to know that a person is only opened to the wisdom of God's will after their lives have been transformed by Jesus through the gospel.  We need to be given the heart and mind of Christ before we can know the heart and mind of God.
Rom. 12:2
Phil. 2:13-14
Col. 1:9
Heb. 13:20-21